Key Verse

“…first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.”
– Matthew 5:24b

Basic Biblical Understanding

Let’s say two friends have a major argument. Due to actions or words, the friendship is strained. They stop talking because it’s awkward. They drift apart. Things go unsaid, bitterness and resentment build. At that point, how can you remove the tension, restore the friendship, and resolve the conflict? That’s the heart of reconciliation!

The word for reconciliation in Matthew 5:24 means “reunited.” It refers to the removal of tension, the restoration of friendship, or the resolution of conflict. According to Scripture, God provides both the incentive and the path for reconciliation.

The biblical incentive for reconciliation is that Christians are the recipients of great reconciliation. Scripture tells us that Jesus reconciled us to God. Our sin separated us from God. Romans 5:10 says, “For if, when we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!” As recipients of great reconciliation, we know better than anyone the joy, the blessing, and the peace of mind that comes from being rightly related to another.

The biblical path of reconciliation is paved through prayer and humble acts of submission. Reconciliation is not easy, quick, or even guaranteed. It’s a process that’s walked out in prayer. Proverbs 18:19 says, “A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city…” When someone is offended, those hurts don’t magically disappear. In prayer, we’re asking God to intervene in our heart and another’s heart. In prayer, we’re asking God to provide answers for these questions: “What’s true, what’s right, what’s next, and what’s best?” In prayer, ask God to help each person move from perception to reality, from hurt feelings to extending grace. Pray for a willingness to repent of any wrongdoing. Finally, pray that each person is ready to extend forgiveness.

When we move forward with the right incentive and in the right way, great healing can occur. Forgiveness and reconciliation will be vital parts of the process. Forgiveness removes the debt; reconciliation mends the relationship. You can forgive someone who doesn’t want to reconcile, but you cannot reconcile with someone who’s unwilling to forgive. Forgiveness and reconciliation are needed for healing. Are you willing to walk through the process?

Verses (ask God to to show you how they apply to your life)

“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”
– Ephesians 4:32

“Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.”
– 2 Corinthians 5:18

Helpful Questions and Application

1. Take the time to pray, sit silently, and write out answers to these questions. What’s true? What’s right? What’s next? What’s best?

2. From your perspective, what are the primary obstacles keeping you from reconciliation? Compare your list against the answers you supplied to the above four questions. Are your obstacles legitimate concerns or self-oriented excuses to stay mad? Take each to God in prayer and ask Him how He’d like for you to proceed.

Additional Resources

Scripture references: Colossians 1:19–20; Hebrews 12:14; Luke 17:3; Colossians 3:13